On Valentine's.

Valentine's Day.

~~~
I was really conflicted on whether I should even do a post for the holiday, because I doubt anything I have to say on the matter will really be that different from hundreds of other, similar text-blocks out there on the net, but what the heck, it's writing, and I sure do enjoy writing.

So. Valentine's. A holiday that provokes a fairly wide range of responses from people. Some people love it, some hate it, some are indifferent, and the reasons for all of these are pretty scattered too. I could spend a while expounding on those, but instead I think today I'll just cut right to my own feelings on it: while I'm not, say, a fervent supporter of the holiday, I'm not Anti-Valentine's either. I'm not going to slap little glittery hearts all over my walls or put some tacky cardboard cupid on my door, but I certainly do celebrate and have no qualms about doing so. However, I've noticed an unusual spike in Anti-Valentine's sentiment this year, and I thought I'd address what I've noticed as the most common reasons people feel this way. In all of these addresses, I'm not trying to say whoever makes these statements is wrong. No, no. I'm just trying to make a counterpoint.

Reason 1: "It's too corporate. Valentine's Day is just something greeting card, chocolate, and lingerie companies latched onto so they could make money."
Rebuttal 1: Don't think I don't see modern Valentine's Day for what it can often be. I have a lot of knee-jerk reactions myself to things I percieve as having slick corporate scheming behind it, and Valentine's adverts and decor certainly do bug me. A lot. But. I think there's nothing wrong with the basic idea behind it--a special day set aside to do something nice for people you love/care about. Yes, yes, I know that you shouldn't need some sort of special day for that, it can be any day. But among those times, I still see nothing wrong with a designated day just for it, no matter how many other days out of the year you show acts of kindness to your loved ones. Besides, who says you have to celebrate with cards, flowers, chocolates et al? Stick it to the man and make Valentine's your own if you really want to celebrate it but can't stand the thought of giving Hallmark more money. Do something different. Start your own traditions. And of course, if you don't want to celebrate it at all, hey, nobody's making you! So then be proud in your decision to let the 14th pass unmarked.


Reason 2: "That's only for people who have someone special. I'm terribly alone. It's not fair to wave this holiday in my face!"

Rebuttal 2: I'm sorry you're alone and want somebody. I've been there myself and know what it's like, and it's true that Valentine's can seem terribly unfair to someone who's bitter and lonely. I get that. But who says Valentine's is only for couples? It's geared towards them, sure, but that shouldn't prevent you from getting in on things. I say that the love celebrated at Valentine's shouldn't be exclusively romantic love--I think it should extend to the love you have for friends and family as well. So don't fear--pick up the phone and have some good times with a friend or two and remember that these are people you love and care about as well.


Reason 3: "Valentine's Day is just something jerks use as an excuse to try and have sex with someone."
Rebuttal 3: Unfortunately, yes, that can often be true. And if you were victimized by one of these horny embarassments to my gender at some point, I'm very sorry. It's a truth well-kept from Valentine's-card-toting elementary schoolers that many adults, for better or for worse, see Valentine's as the sex holiday. And for consenting couples that want some sort of excuse or special day for a special bit of romping, I think that's sweet and even a little bit adorable, and for older couples who want to re-generate some sort of spark I think the sentiment can be downright heartwarming. But there's nothing touching about unwanted advances, inside or outside a relationship. I can see how this would ruin a holiday for someone. What's been said in the previous two reasons still applies here...don't feel like it's something you need to acknowledge as any sort of special day and if you do acknowledge it, don't feel like you need to celebrate romantic love specifically. If you've had trouble saying no because of the date, or that's the person in question's excuse for trying to pressure you into something you don't want, remember, Valentine's is only as special an occasion as you say it is: no still means no on that or any other day.


So yeah, I bought a card this year, and some chocolates, and considered some flowers, and went out to a nice dinner, the usual staples. But I don't feel like I'm being hypocritical in this--because I didn't do it because I felt obligated, because it's "what people do." It was because I wanted to do something nice and special for my own beloved, on a day that's declared by many to be specifically set aside for showing care and affection. Hey, I also hung out with some friends and got a nice message from my parents, so there's some alternate celebration right there. Have a good one, whether you partake in it or not.
Holden out.